Uncle Bob, I Love You
Thursday, July 22nd, 2010
This is a picture from Chris & Joanne’s pre-wedding shoot…I’m using it as an illustration only
Uncle Bob is well known amongst wedding photographers. We talk about him, rub shoulders with him & cross lenses almost every week. He is usually an aspiring photographer or just a very enthusiastic friend/relative of the newly weds jostling for shooting positions so that he can share his images with the family. He carries a point-and-shoot or iPhone and of late, DSLRs and bigger lenses.
There is usually enough room for another person to take pictures. When we, the official photographers, get our pictures we don’t mind having Uncle Bob around. However if Uncle Bob jumped in front of us just as we were about to nail the groom unveiling and kissing the bride. Man, all hell broke loose. How can we be civil and reach some sort of understanding? Not sure how other photographers do it, but I wouldn’t mind sharing my approach.
Acknowledge Uncle Bob
“Hey that’s some great equipment you’ve got there! You must be real serious about photography. By the way, I’m Louis, the official photographer.” I reach out and shake his hand. I think deep down, every photographer wants to be respected and taken seriously no matter what level we are in. We all hate it when someone waltz into the room and suck the oxygen out of it with that “I am better than you” attitude. While contractually I have priority access to the best vantage points, I would rather not boss people around. I believe the bigger person should be humble enough to make the first move.
Win Him Over
“Hey you know what. I might need your help at some point. Would you mind holding a flash for me if I needed an extra hand?” Uncle Bob would be thrilled to be on the substitute bench of the pro team. A minute ago, he was just sitting at the stands! I had actually roped in Uncle Bob to stand in as my lighting assistant. We became great pals chatting over light setups by the end of the day.
Work It Out
“You must be really excited to get some pictures today. Me too! Just so that we both get our pictures, when the bride enters the church, I’ll be shooting from here. It’ll be great if we don’t end up blocking each other. Now if I blocked you, just tap my shoulder ok? Is it ok if I do the same to you?”
First, I don’t leave it to chances by communicating clearly and directly. He has just given me permission to tap him. Yay! Secondly, I have extended a courtesy to him, giving him permission to signal him if I am blocking him. He would reciprocate. Usually, he would say, “You are the official guy man. I don’t wanna get in your way.” In the rare occasion that Uncle Bob was mean and unreasonable, we still walk away looking magnanimous and big.
Play The Trump Cards
If all of the above failed, I would get my clients to intervene. Probably did that twice in the last five years.
There is no point crying over missed opportunities because we got in each other’s way. I prefer preventive measures and diplomacy. The couple will get the MC to announce prior to the ceremony that the guests are welcomed to take pictures from their seat and keep the phone on silent mode. The latter bit makes the announcement less conspicuous
In Asia, my female colleagues told me that I got more respect because I’m a 5’10” male photographer. “Uncle Bob be nice ok. These are my good friends and they are great photographers. Besides, there is no glory in picking on the ladies ok?”
If you identify yourself as an Uncle Bob, I want you to know that I want you to get the best pictures possible. I understand the joy and thrill of nailing a great shot and I want we all get it. We both want the couple to be as happy as they can be. Let’s help one another here, shall we? We are here to make pictures, not enemies


















